


Maybe life is a song (Please don't be scared to sing along)

by hmurya



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 06:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3600327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmurya/pseuds/hmurya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe your relationship is more than just a fluctuating curve. Maybe - it's a bunch of songs strung together. Maybe it's both. Yes - it's definitely both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe life is a song (Please don't be scared to sing along)

**1.**  

Not yet. That is all you took from it. That and the taste of her lips. You give her time. Every time you see her, you want to look into her eyes and tell her “Kiss me, Clarke. Kiss me like you want to be loved.” Instead you just wait. A week, two, five. Then it happens. You are relaxing on your bed, reading a book your people found in one of the old ruins. She barges in your tent and knocks the book out of your hand. She doesn’t even give you enough time to react as she straddles you in one swift motion and kisses you senseless. That night as the two of lie together, you finally say what you have wanted to “Kiss me like you want to be loved.” Her brows furrow in a momentary confusion but then she kisses you and it feels like a thousand galaxies have come together to celebrate this moment.

_I've been feeling everything_  
_From hate to love_  
_From love to lust_  
_From lust to truth_  
_I guess that's how I know you_  
_So I hold you close to help you give it up_

* * *

 

**2.**

You love her. She knows that, but she wants you to say it. How can you? It’s not in your nature. You understand her need, but you can’t oblige to it. You try to do the little things for her so she knows how much you mean to her, but somehow it’s just not enough. And you don’t understand why those three words are so important.

“Indra is dead.” Clarke tells you one day. You cared for her, just like for Anya or Gustus. You never let it show, but this is just Clarke and your body voluntarily succumbs to your emotions. Your knees go weak and for the first time you let Clarke see you cry. She holds your face “Lexa, listen to me. You are still the soldier in my eyes. OK?” You blink the tears away and look directly at her. The sincerity and adoration in her eyes knocks the breath out of you. Maybe just this once you can give her what she wants. “I may not say the words as such, Clarke. But I’m yours.” A slight smile plays across her face. She hugs you, whispering an “I know” into your hair. You know for now it’s enough for her.

 

_I may not have the softest touch_  
I may not say the words as such  
I know I don't fit in that much  
But I'm yours

* * *

**3.**  

How foolish of you to think this could ever last.

You betrayed her for your people. She took innocent lives to save hers.

That was what brought her to Polis.

You had seen Clarke cry on numerous occasions, but never had she looked so broken and lifeless. You had held her in your arms that night for a very long time. She had fallen asleep like that.

That was what had brought you two closer.

And yet you were foolish enough to think this bond was unbreakable. You need her to be yours, and she feels she needs to be free. You need her to understand that she is yours as much as you are hers. But she doesn’t. It’s suffocating you both, this distance that is gradually increasing. One night over dinner you tell her “Walk away.” She looks at you, confusion evident. “Save yourself from this heartache.”

“It’s too late now.” She mutters nonchalantly. “I’m in too deep, Lexa.”

And for reasons beyond your understanding, she stays.

_She finds color in the darkest places_  
_She finds beauty in the saddest of faces_  
_For such a clued in, headstrong girl_  
_Could've had the world  
_ _but she's fallen in love in the worst way_

* * *

**4.**  

Both of you are good at pretending. That’s why no one notices anything is wrong. You know one day the relation will saturate and it will all be over, so you start steeling yourself. You still take your dinner with her, you still lie in bed beside her, you do everything with her that you need to do. You also continue to build a wall around you as do all those things. It’s a necessity really.

One day, your whole clan is gathered by the bonfire. Clarke is not in attendance. You think she’s doing the same thing you are – building walls. You make an excuse for her – _she’s not feeling well._

“Oh. I was hoping Clarke and Lexa would read me one of the books today.” It’s a little boy. You recognize his face but not his name. That’s Clarke’s thing. Clarke had taken to read stories to children in your camp. You had started to join her. First just by accompanying her, then reading along, pretending to be different characters. You see the sadness on the children’s faces. “Yes. Me too. Lexa and Clarke’s stories are fun.” The other children nod in agreement.

A nagging unease settles in your skin. Clarke and Lexa. Lexa and Clarke. That is how people say it now. One with the other and it hits you – you can’t let it end. Not without trying. You leave the bonfire right then and walk to your tent with a drive you have never felt before. She doesn’t even look up when she hears you enter. You kneel down in front of her. She looks at you, a brow raised.

“You can push me away forever Clarke, but I would die to make you mine. Even if I have to come back a thousand times for it.” You leave her with those words.

_In another life_  
_I wouldn't need to_  
_Console myself_  
_As I resign to release you_

* * *

 

**5.**

She hadn’t said anything after that. She even had the tenacity to shift tents. You curse yourself for being the fool that you prove over and over you are. Four days later she comes to you. You don’t know when though, since you had been sleeping, but when your eyes open sometime in the middle of the night, she’s lying beside you, a hand tucked under her head as she looks at you. You smile, then remember that _no things have changed_ and recoil it.

“Staring is rude, Clarke.” She smiles.

“Or romantic.” A flutter. You push it down.

“Definitely rude.” Her smile widens. She lightly shoves you with her free hand but doesn’t pull back, choosing to rest it on your cheek.

“Like you would know the first thing about romance.”

You cover her hand with yours. “Oh? And you would?”

“More than you.” She whispers before bringing her lips to yours. The kiss is even purer than your first. You don’t want to, but you still pull back.

“Clarke –“

“I know.” Her eyes settle on your chin. “I know what it took you to say those words to me, Lexa. And I guess I have been putting all of it on you, when it’s equally my fault.” She swallows, you mimic her. “But if you are willing to try, then so am I.”

“Look at me.” She does. “I’ll follow you into the light, Clarke. You just have to ask me to.”

You two have been talking for hours. Making up for the time lost through words, touches, kisses. As the two of you settle into a comfortable silence, Clarke looks over to you and says “We’ll be alright.”

For the first time in a very long while, you believe her.

_Let the world come rush in_  
_Come down hard, come crushing_  
_All I need is right here beside me_  
_I'n not enough, I swear it_  
_But take my love and and wear it over your shoulders_

**Author's Note:**

> Songs for each part ::
> 
> 1\. Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran  
> 2\. I'm Yours by The Script  
> 3\. Walk Away by The Script  
> 4\. 1000 Times by Sara Bareilles  
> 5\. The Light by Sara Bareilles


End file.
